Blurb – Rest Inn Peace
Rest Inn Peace is a charming bed and breakfast nestled in a
magical grove on the outskirts of Yellowstone National Park, next to an old
cemetery packed with brain-starved zombies. The inn is home to dragons,
fairies, talking animals and ghosts. The welcome-wagon committee is a creepy
statue and a crazy manager. For Cobra and his 12 year old daughter Zoe,
inheriting the inn is anything but a delightful family rest stop and it brings
out the worst in them both; after all, fairies and dragons aren’t even real –
are they? Cobra wants to take his kid and run, but where will they go? The
outside world is crumbling, people are hungry and desperate. When Cobra takes
over running the Inn, murders begin to plague the small town of Broken Spur
Valley with a frightening regularity. Is there a connection between their
arrival and those mysterious murders?
Excerpt -Rest Inn Peace
The Beginning - Fairy Bad
“Prepare to die.” Unsheathing
a knife from his well-worn leather waistband, the robust fairy with the fragile
pink wings directed its tip at Cobra’s chest.
“What the hell?” Cobra
exclaimed, releasing the Harley’s throttle and grabbing the brake a little too
hard as the flying menace appeared from thin air and flew straight at his
oncoming motorcycle.
“Hell has nothing on me,
white man.” The fairy landed ten feet in front of the motorcycle as Cobra
lowered his left foot and forced the bike to a squirrely stop. Zoe’s head
knocked against his back.
“Ow,” she complained. “My
nose. Why’d you stop so suddenly?”
“Unexpected incoming object,”
Cobra answered, his gaze focused on the seven foot tall creature holding the
knife, its blade glinting against the afternoon sunlight. If the monster had
jumped in front of the bike while Cobra and Zoe were still barreling down the
highway at sixty mph instead of lumbering up a dirt driveway at ten, there’d be
no preparing – they’d already be dead.
“Warn me next time,” Zoe
griped. “My nose is all bent out of shape now.”
When isn’t it? Cobra thought.
Craning her neck over his shoulder
to scan the scene ahead, Zoe scoffed. “And I don’t see any incoming object,
Dad. Stop BS-ing me.”
“Yeah, BS-ing,” Cobra
muttered as he glowered at the creature before him. The creature glowered back
– enormous, ferocious, and with a Native American savagery Cobra had only seen
in old cowboy movies. Snuggles, strapped in the pet crate behind Zoe, yapped
and growled.
“Your child does not see me,”
the fairy said in a booming voice befitting his size.
“Good,” Cobra muttered under
his breath. The less crazy crap Z got exposed to, the better.
“But that doesn’t make me any
less real,” the giant clarified with a flutter of his dainty wings. “Don’t
speak, white man. Just listen. I understand you are Selma’s grandson. Now you
understand something; it’s my job to protect this property from ex-con
shitheads like you. My name is Billy, I’m the guard dog here, and I’ll rip off
your scalp and shove it up your ass before I’ll let harm come to this peaceful
place. Got it?”
Cobra silently nodded because
saying, “kiss my ass, fairy man” seemed stupid.
Good.” Billy grinned
scornfully. “Keep the peace, or die. It’s that simple.” He retracted the knife,
fluttered his wings some more, and disappeared just as quickly as he’d shown
up. Cobra blinked hard and shook his head.
“Hey, Dad,” Zoe jabbed her
finger against his shoulder. “Who’s that lady on the porch?”
Cobra planted his other foot
on the ground and killed the Harley’s engine, trying to shake away the freaky
image. Then he glanced up, his gaze following the long, dirt driveway to its
curve in front of a white Victorian farmhouse with red trim. On the
old-fashioned wide porch stood an attractive brunette in white stretchy pants,
a matching tank top, her hair done up in a messy bun. She pushed her glasses up
higher on the bridge of her nose like a geek girl then folded her arms across
an abundant chest. A fat, fluffy beige cat stretched out on the table beside
her. The pair surveyed Cobra suspiciously from under a sign that read:
Welcome to Rest Inn Peace…Where Life Begins At
The End Of The Road.
Meet a few Rest Inn Peace residents –
Zoe – Inherited the ability
to see fairies and other magic from her dad…who was just voted the town serial
killer. Twelve years old and stuck in Podunk, Zoe’s problems don’t end with her
dastardly-daddy. She also has one best friend who’s afraid of bacon, another
that loves peanut butter and sardine sandwiches, and a third who’s in love with
a dandelion seed. Why can’t anything ever be normal?
Cobra – Has trouble staying
out of jail and away from the lady in red. He hates that Zoe got her crazy
streak from him, and wishes his drug-addicted ex-wife would come along and take
the kid off his hands. He’s hooked on beer…and it appears he’s killing people
in his sleep.
Reggie – The girl next door.
She talks with gargoyles and trolls the way normal people talk with the
mailman. Rest Inn Peace is her dream-come-true, but the inn’s new, disbelieving
ex-con owner is a nightmare. Can Reggie save her beloved bed-and-breakfast from
the wrecking ball, or will the man with the shady past destroy the whole planet
with his obstinate stupidity?
Foxy – Frequent Rest Inn
Peace guest and once-famous disco-feverin’ disc jockey from the 1970s. He loves
the night life and wants to boogie, so if you’re up for a hot night with a cold
corpse, Foxy’s your ladies’ man!
Sheriff Million – Under his
vigilant watch, cow tippers are sent packing and the zombies only snack on
geezerly church ladies. As far as the sheriff is concerned, everything in
Broken Spur would be plumb-perfect, if not for that mysterious serial killer.
Still, Million is a humdinger of a law and order man, keeping his remote rural
town locked and loaded…and the goats well-fed.
Faest – Can’t fly straight or
see clearly, plus he’s easily sidetracked by organic broccoli and pink
flamingoes. But don’t let that worry you. Faest is a fierce fire-dragon from
the royal lineage of Mythical Protectors. No matter the odds, if you’re under
his wing he will keep you safe…or burn down your house trying.
Blanche and Henry – They
would gladly snack on your brain if not for Sheriff Million, whose
zombie-bribery tactics will always keep you safe. Well, unless you sneak out of
church during the sermon, in which case Blanche will probably snap your neck.
Piousness is next to godliness, after all.
Meet Bonnie Bernard -
Bonnie Bernard is the alter ego of a fiery redhead who lives
in the Rocky Mountains with her husband, Doug. They share their old haunted
home with a mutt named Gilligan and a pair of spoiled rotten cats.
Bonnie likes to write paranormal fiction, play outside, make
a difference in the world, and eat obsessive amounts of dark chocolate and
hummus (but not together). She is a two-time demolition derby champion, a doggy
foster mom, and she paid her way through college by clowning around.
Bonnie has six published books. They’re like tattoos; why
stop until the flesh is completely covered?
Find out more at www.bonniebernard.com
Links -
Facebook link (friend me!) -
https://www.facebook.com/authorbonnie.bernard
Bonnie's Magical Book World -
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bonnie-Bernards-Magical-Book-World/327843120592584
RIP page -
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rest-Inn-Peace/567368146648022
Twitter - https://twitter.com/BonnieBernard
Amazon Author page -
http://www.amazon.com/Bonnie-Bernard/e/B008OK91TO/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Rest Inn Peace - http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Inn-Peace-Bonnie-Bernard/dp/0989776115/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377365528&sr=1-1
Smashwords - http://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=Bonnie+Bernard
Webpage - http://bonniebernard.com/
