Sunday, September 28, 2014

Bound To The Past (Starville Series: Book 1) by Lauryn Michaels with Excerpt & Teasers


- Synopsis -

After a terrible motorcycle accident causes Jack Turner total memory loss, discovering what has happened in his past becomes crucial to him. What is he doing back in Starville, the small Texas town he left behind many years before? And has he really murdered his adoptive father, as everyone seems to believe?

In a world full of doubts and misgivings, Jackʼs only certainty is Sara.

Novelist Sara Milano has been struggling with writer's block and blames it on her boring existence. The night she rescues mysterious Jack Turner on the road, however, she knows everything is about to change. Convinced of Jack's innocence and determined to use his turbulent story as an inspiration for her new novel, Sara decides to help him through his journey of discovering the truth.

As Starville's hostility toward Jack turns into hatred, unveiling the real killer's identity becomes a matter of life or death.

*** Authorʼs Note: “BOUND TO THE PAST” IS A STAND-ALONE NOVEL. The other books in the series need not be read to enjoy it. ***




~ Excerpt ~

After driving for a couple of miles, Sara took a right turn to enter a tree-lined country road. It was narrow, poorly paved, and a little bumpy, but it was a familiar shortcut she used often to get quickly into town. In fact, after living in big cities for so many years, sheʼd grown to appreciate its quiet isolation…until she heard a loud pop and felt a jerking from the steering wheel.
“Oh, no. No, no, no!” …Not a flat tire! Not this late at night, and not on such a remote road! Before she finished that thought, the car started to swerve and thump. Great. Just great. Sara had no choice but to pull off on the side of the road and get out of the car to assess the situation. Yep, it was definitely a flat tire.
A grunt slipped from her lips. For a moment, she debated calling her friend Brent for help but pushed that thought away. He had better things to do than rushing to her help every time she was in trouble. Besides, it was time she learned to do things by herself. Changing a tire couldnʼt be too hard, right? If other people did it, so could she. She only hoped the dull light from the few working street lamps would be enough for her to see, because the last thing she needed was to have to hold a flashlight while attempting to change her first tire.
Sara had just opened the trunk and grabbed the jack when she heard the loud rumble of an engine. She turned around with a relieved smile―but it faded as soon as she saw the huge, dark motorcycle approaching. She didnʼt know anyone who owned one like that in Starville.
“Awesome,” she mumbled. The only person coming by had to be a complete stranger. Her heart immediately sped at the implications of that thought. It was late at night, the road was dark, and she was about to be all alone with a stranger.
Whatever, silly. This was Starville. People here knew and helped each other. Yet she couldnʼt help sucking in a harsh breath as the motorcycle slowed down. If anything, she was still holding the jack. Probably not the most perfect weapon, but itʼd sure come in handy if this guy was coming with the wrong idea in mind.
“Need help?” the strangerʼs deep voice asked curtly as he killed the engine.
Squinting her eyes to focus them in the dim light, Sara swallowed hard. Screw the help; she could change the darn tire herself. “No, thank you. Iʼm sure I can”—the man slid off the bike and walked toward her—“manage,” she finished in a gasp as he stepped into the light.
He was a stranger, all right. Probably the most dangerous-looking one sheʼd ever seen. He was tall. Very tall. So much so that she had to tilt her head all the way back to look at his face, seeing as he towered over her five four by nearly a foot. Everything about him was dark, from the jeans he was wearing to the charcoal T-shirt and black leather jacket. Even his short hair and the faint stubble on his jaw were dark―not to mention his expression. But his eyes… Holy crap! They had to be the only bright thing about him. In fact, sheʼd never seen such a startling, intense shade of green before. And never had she thought that so much pain could be contained in a single pair of eyes. They looked…lost. Tormented.
Sara took a deep breath. She could have sworn this man had leaped straight out of one of her novels. Which wasnʼt necessarily a good thing.
Without a word, her dark knight walked to the car and crouched in front of the tire. Sara forced herself out of her stunned stupor. “I, uh, have a flat.” Duh.
He turned his head and gave her a long, piercing stare that made her squirm with unease. Then he stood, took off his leather jacket, and tossed it carelessly at the bike. “Got a spare?”
“I think itʼs in the trunk. But, look, you donʼt have to help…” Too late. He was already removing the spare tire and tools from the trunk.
Oookay. Sara stepped closer and passed him the jack, her nerves so tense that she almost dropped it in the process. “Thank you so much. I was going to change it myself, but I’ve never done it before, and thereʼs no telling how long it would have taken,” she said, trying to make conversation. For no reason, apparently, since he flat-out ignored her.
She watched him as he jacked up the car, fascinated by the play of muscles rippling in his arms and down his back. Oh, boy. She cleared her throat. “Iʼve never seen you ʼround here before. Are you new in town?”
His eyes darted to hers as he removed the flat tire and set it aside. “Kinda.”
Kinda? Sara frowned. While he did speak with a slight drawl, it wasnʼt pronounced enough to determine whether it might be from Texas. Not to mention he spoke too little. “Are you going to stay in Starville for a while?”
“Not sure yet.”
Hmm. Maybe he was on a business trip? Sara glanced at his motorcycle, then back at him. He definitely didnʼt strike her as a businessman. Perhaps he was here to visit a friend? Or a girlfriend? Her frown deepened as she tried to picture him with someone she knew in town. “My name is Sara, by the way. Sara Milano. I live a couple of miles from here.”
He shot her another brief look, then stood all of a sudden. Sara stared at him but didnʼt realize heʼd finished changing the tire until he placed the tools and the flat back into the trunk. He closed it with a slam and turned around, wiping his hands on the legs of his jeans. Her gaze followed the action in a daze. “I, um, have wipes in my purse, if you want.”
“Iʼm fine.”
Of course. Dark knights didnʼt care for sanitary wipes. And she should probably stop calling him that and ask what his name was. “Thank you so much again for your help, Mr.―”
“No problem.”
Sara suppressed an eye roll as he walked past her. Seriously? Now he was just being weird. Maybe he was running from the law and didnʼt want her to know his name. Then again, she doubted an outlaw would stop to help a damsel in distress. Oddly enough, though, his clipped answers and brush-off attitude only made her want to know more about him. He…drew her. The mystery writer in her was totally intrigued by his enigmatic persona.
She followed him quietly to his motorcycle, which she now noticed was a black-and-silver Harley Davidson. He was already putting his jacket back on. “Iʼm going to town for ice cream. Would you like to join me?” she blurted as he straddled the bike. “Itʼs the least I can do to thank you.”
Her offer must have surprised him, because his gaze snapped back to hers, and he raised an eyebrow. Sara was pretty sure she even saw a glint of amusement flash in his eyes. Evidently, dark knights didnʼt care for ice cream, either.
“I could buy you a drink somewhere, if you prefer,” she tried again. Yeah, a drink sounded better. He looked like a whiskey kind of guy―something dark and strong.
This time a ghost of a smile played at the right corner of his mouth, lifting it ever so slightly and revealing a dimple that caused a funny flutter in her stomach. Lord help her, she was a sucker for dimples!
“Maybe another time.” 
Sara sighed, trying to hide her disappointment as he backed up the motorcycle and started the engine. “All right, then. Thanks again.” It was the story of her life. Every good-looking man who crossed her path ended up bolting faster than she could say good-bye. With a little wave, she started walking back to her car.
“Sara?”
She stilled. Her pulse zinged in response to the gravelly tone in which he said her name. And that slow, sexy drawl of his! She took another deep breath before turning around. “Yes?”
“Get that tire fixed as soon as you can. Itʼs not safe driving on a spare.”
“Oh.” Wow. That was the longest sentence he’d uttered since he’d arrived, and it wasnʼt even close to what Sara wished heʼd said. And to think that for a moment sheʼd hoped he might have changed his mind and decided to accept her invitation. Talk about dumb. “Iʼll do it first thing in the morning. Thank you.”
He nodded, then rode away just as mysteriously as heʼd arrived.
And she didnʼt even know his name.
***
Ice cream.
When was the last time someone had offered him ice cream? He didnʼt even remember. Probably as long ago as the last time someone had looked at him the way that pretty girl had, as if he were a decent human being. And, God, heʼd been tempted to go with her. To forget, at least for a little while, who he was.
He shook his head hard, crushing that thought. He had no time for this crap. He had enough on his plate already. He was back.
Back in Texas. Back in Starville, the one place heʼd sworn never to see again. But, hell, now that he was so close to getting what heʼd been working so hard for, he was excited to be here.
Heʼd been waiting for this day for so long―planning it, craving it―and he was determined not to let anything or anyone distract him from his objective. Finally, he would have his revenge on the people heʼd learned to loathe with his entire being during the last ten years.
His jaw instinctively clenched. His fists tightened on the handgrips as the motorcycleʼs speed increased. Blood pounded through his veins with anticipation. Oh, yeah, revenge was going to taste so sweet. Heʼd make sure of that. Only then would he finally be free to move on with his life and put this damn town behind him forever.
And this time, he would not look back.



~ About the Author ~

Lauryn Michaels is the author of contemporary romance novels edged with mystery and suspense. Her debut novel, Bound to the Past, is the first book in the Starville Series. 

Reading has always been an essential part of Laurynʼs life, and sheʼs been an avid reader of romance since the age of thirteen, when she began sneaking her mother's novels. She started writing her first stories that same year―and can now confess that many of them were written in class and even during homework time! 


Lauryn currently lives in Italy with her husband, their five-year-old son, and their two canine babies. When sheʼs not reading or writing, she enjoys traveling, cooking, playing the piano, and spending lazy evenings watching movies with her family. 


Lauryn loves hearing from her readers, so feel free to drop her an e-mail at laurynmichaels@gmail.com or contact her on Facebook, Amazon, Goodreads, and Twitter.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Deep Blue (Blue #1) by Jules Barnard with Excerpt, Playlist & Review


Synopsis:
First loves, second chances… 

When Cali Morgan kicks off her perfect post-college summer in Lake Tahoe, she has everything she ever wanted: acceptance into a top law program, a gorgeous boyfriend, and an incredible summer planned with her best friend. 

Confident about her place in the world, Cali makes it her mission to be her friend’s wingwoman and help her meet guys. What Cali doesn’t count on is running into Jaeger Lang, one of her older brother’s high school friends, or the sparks that fly when she’s around him. 

Jaeger has changed, and it’s not just the added height and muscle. There’s something about him that’s deep and a little scarred. In spite of the changes, Jaeger becomes a top pick for her friend—if Cali can keep her hands off him. 

But when Cali’s boyfriend dumps her and her carefully laid plans begin to unravel, she finds herself questioning what it is she truly desires. In the midst of doubts about her future, one thing is very clear: she wants Jaeger for her own. The question is, has her friend already fallen for him? 

Deep Blue is book #1 in the Blue Series. 


***This New Adult book is intended for readers over the age of 18 due to adult language, sexual content, and adult situations.***

Excerpt:
Jaeger’s warm leg brushes my calf as he reaches for a pole. “You’ve never done this before?”
For a moment, I wonder what he’s talking about. The heat from his leg and the proximity of his body has me thinking of make-out sessions and cheating on boyfriends. Multiple yeses to the former—no to the latter.
Then I remember we’re supposed to be fishing. “No.”
“I’ll bait your hook.”
“Excuse me?” Why does everything he says sound like a pick-up line?
He raises an eyebrow and pulls a wiggling worm from a Styrofoam container. He spears the worm on the end of a hook the size of my pinky.
I throw up a little in my mouth. Why am I here again?
Gen’s boat drifts farther away. I can’t hear anything from them now. 
“Here.” Jaeger holds out the fishing rod with the worm still wiggling on the end. “Press the button on the reel and drop the hook.”
I’m trying to concentrate on his words, but I can’t stop staring at the impaled worm. I gingerly take the reel, holding it so Mr. Worm doesn’t touch me, or get knocked against the side of the boat, adding insult to injury. Lowering the tip of the pole, I let him float on the lake’s surface. Maybe the little guy will get lucky and escape his torture device while Jaeger finishes his instructions.
“After you drop the line, press the release when I tell you.”
Bossy, are we? But I press the button and the line sinks, whistling as it descends. Now the worm is drowning. Fishing cannot be humane.
Jaeger gives the signal and I press the button to stop the reel. I grip the rod as if it were an ax and stare at the end, with no clue what I’m supposed to be waiting for.
Jaeger pulls another worm from the Styrofoam container and I look away. I know what’s about to happen. I can’t watch this one’s fate at the end of Jaeger’s hook.
Why does that bring to mind my own destiny?
At the sound of his line going into the water, I peer over. He locks his reel and reaches for a small cooler he loaded before we boarded. He pulls out a Budweiser and pops the top, passing it.
Cheap beer at five thirty in the morning? I will gladly take said beer and drink it like it is mother’s milk. The carbonation might settle my stomach. At the very least, a light buzz could dim the sexual tension and sense of doom in the air—or make it worse. Jesus, that’s all I need.
If I’m the only one with dirty thoughts, I can deal, but if Jaeger is attracted to me, too . . . we have a problem.
“How will I know when I’ve caught a fish?”
He shushes me and glances over like I’ve been naughty, which I have—in my mind. “You won’t catch a fish if you scare them away,” he whispers.
I lower my voice. “Are you going to tell me how this is done, or what?”
His mouth twitches. Without looking at me, he says, “They nibble.”
A tingle shoots down my chest and past my thighs. I squeeze my legs together. Again with the dirty fishing talk!
“It will feel like a vibration, maybe a few quick tugs. Don’t react right away. Let the fish take a nice bite, then jerk your hook. If you feel more movement, you’ve caught something.”
He pops open a beer for himself and we sit in silence, me chugging my beer and waiting to be nibbled, he as still as a stone two feet away.
After a few minutes, I hold out my hand for another beer and my line vibrates. I don’t react right away, but my rod has all my attention. Taking the second beer he hands me, I wait, sipping carefully and white-knuckling my pole.
Another small jerk and rattle. With his gaze on his own line, Jaeger doesn’t seem to notice.
The next tug from the mysterious creature below the surface has my rod slipping a fraction from my fingers. I lurch the pole up and wind the reel a couple of times to take up the slack. The end jerks like crazy. I’ve caught something for sure.
Spinning the reel with quick, uncontrolled strokes, I fight to bring in the wild animal, my adrenaline kicking up a notch. I’m getting this fishing business now. Woman versus beast!
What exactly is down there? Are there freshwater sharks? Because I think I caught one. This fish is a wily bugger. I’m straining and not making much progress.
Jaeger scoots closer, our arms brushing. I sense when he sets his pole down, his gaze on me. “Need help?”
Before I can answer, the boat dips and my grip loosens on the pole to correct my balance. Jaeger sinks behind me on the bench I’m straddling, his front to my back.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Figured you wanted to know how to reel it in.” His deep voice, the light cologne he’s wearing, and the feel of his body against mine has me frozen in place.
I choke. “I think I know how that’s done.”
His hands cover mine and I instantly release the pole, putting my hands in my lap. He draws in the line with quick, efficient strokes, and the fish breaches the surface of the water.
It’s the size of a minnow.
What the hell? I had a dolphin on the end of that line.
I scoot to Jaeger’s previous position as he makes a grab for Mr. Slimy and gently unhooks my fish’s lip. He tosses the minnow overboard, and the little guy arcs and swims away.
“Why’d you throw him back?” I worked hard for that fish, and Mr. Worm sacrificed his life.
“Catch and release. We’re not keeping them, even if you had caught one big enough to eat.” His mouth curves.
Sounds like a guy’s dating motto. “Hey, now. I don’t see a fish on the end of your hook. I guess it takes a delicate touch.”
His eyes dart to my lap and my fingers curled there. A tingly sensation runs down my back, warming my belly. He looks me in the eye. “Feel free to exhibit your delicate touch anytime you like.”
It’s official. Jaeger’s brain is in the gutter too.
Now I’m in trouble.


Deep Blue Playlist
1.      “Don’t You Worry Child (Radio Edition),” Swedish House Mafia
2.      “Demons,” Imagine Dragons
3.      “Cups (Movie Version),” Anna Kendrick
4.      “Keep It to Yourself,” Kacey Musgraves
5.      “Stay (feat. Mikky Ekko),” Rihanna
6.      “I Couldn’t Be Your Friend,” Tegan and Sarah
7.      “Summer Love,” One Direction
8.      “Too Close (Just to Love You),” Playlist AllStarts
9.      “Locked Out of Heaven,” Bruno Mars
10. “It’s Time,” Imagine Dragons
11. “Ho Hey,” The Lumineers
12. “How Come You don’t Want Me?,” Tegan and Sarah
13. “Tell Me a Story,” Phillip Phillips
14. “House of Gold,” Twenty One Pilots
15. “Daylight,” Maroon 5

16. “So Easy,” Phillip Phillips

My Review: 
This was a good read. There were a lot of things that changed from the beginning of the book to the end, but it all worked out. I liked that Cali was pretty flexible and sort of went with the flow of things. I knew from the start that Jaeger would be an interesting, possibly fun complication in what Cali had planned for her future. Things didn't exactly turn out as she had planned, but I think they turned out right. There were a few other complications once Jaeger entered her life that were completely unexpected, but ended up alright. Overall a good flow to the story line and the characters were interesting as well. I can't wait for the next book to see what happens there. 

Find Jules:
Goodreads ~ Amazon 

Rockstar's Temptation (Decoy Series #4) by K.T. Fisher Cover Reveal

 photo ROCKSTARSTEMPTATIONAMAZONKINDLEEBOOKCOVER_zpse58f1943.jpg

Title: Rockstars Temptation
Series: Decoy Series #4
Author: KT Fisher 
Cover Designed by: Louisa from LM Creations
Hosted by: Francessca's Romance Reviews

Synopsis:
Maisy and Max have been really close for a while now. They clicked straight away and a beautiful friendship blossomed. But is it just an innocent friendship? When Maisy’s sexy and troublesome younger sister, Lauren, comes to town, she begins to stir everything up. Max’s eyes wander and Maisy, for some reason, doesn’t like it. She tells herself that it’s because she doesn’t want her sister hurt by his playboy ways, but is that true? Join Max and Maisy on their confusing journey full of heartbreak and turmoil. Where their friendship is stretched to the limits with lust and betrayal. Amongst tragedy and danger, can your heart lead you in the right direction?


About the Author

I love reading, it's my favourite hobby. I've always had ideas for my own books packed into my head so I thought I would write them out for people to enjoy.

Stalk KT Fisher:
Facebook ~ Twitter

Other Books in the Series

Rockstar Daddy (Decoy #1)

Rockstar's Girl (Decoy #2)

Rockstar's Angel (Decoy #3)

Friday, September 26, 2014

Charity's Passion (Charity #3) by Maya James with Giveaway, Playlist & Excerpt



SYNOPSIS:
Charity Powers and Justin Collins face down their final challenges and elicit desires in the last of their passionate series. Almost a year has passed since their romance began and they’ve overcome obstacles together that they could never have endured alone—and they’ll need each other now more than ever!

Their powerful love is ready and eager for the next evolution of their relationship, but Brian Marker has returned for his revenge. The gifted assassin in Justin can sense the ruthless killer all around them, hunting them, closing in, and it’s time to begin the plans he’s been protecting from everyone, even Charity. Senator Lewis moves closer to the presidential candidacy with Panther’s help, and a power struggle larger than anyone was prepared for unfolds around them. Panther Inc. must pass hands to Garrett so Justin and Charity can run across the world to drive their stalker out into the open to face them.

Charity and Justin refuse to let anything come between them and their lust for each other. They accept their fate with all the erotic heat they both have craved from the beginning, a fire so intense that it ignites flames in those around them.

But there are always dark and dangerous corners and those wicked souls hiding within them. With the light at the end of the tunnel before them so bright that they can see the rest of their happy lives together, will Charity and Justin make it to God’s alter in bliss—or tragedy?

PURCHASE LINKS:
AMAZON ** B&N


 EXCERPT:
He's going to be my husband.

Holy fuck!
I have so many questions and I'm afraid to ask them all and look like a desperate waif greedy for attention and control.

"You're going to bubble over and short circuit if you don't ask those questions on your mind," Justin says suddenly. "I can see them all churning around in your head waiting for you to spit them out. It's not healthy, or fair, to keep them all in."

I lower my head. He's right, of course, but I'm still worried about his reaction. Just asking me was such a huge leap for him.

"Okay," he says through a deep breath. "I'll guess my way through."

He studies my face, looking straight through my eyes. I can almost feel him inside me rummaging around through my thoughts. "You want to know when; if I want a long or short engagement."

"That's the most obvious," I tease.

Justin shrugs his shoulders. "Of course it is; did you think I was going to read your mind?"

Really, my snort-laugh did not need to be that loud, but just like Melissa and Trisha, Justin seems to only love it when it happens, and I've grown used to it in front of him.

"I'll wait if you want, but I'd rather it be soon. I don't want you to be able to get away from me so easily once you realize I'm not good enough for you," he says, his large arm holding me just a little tighter as if I might decide to leave him now.

"That will not happen; you’re perfect for me. And I would like to marry you sooner too," I tell him. "As soon as this Marker businesses is done, we'll start planning."

Justin agrees with a nod. "We can get married just as quickly as we can put together whatever kind of wedding you want. What do you want, Charity? Huge and elegant with hundreds of guests, or small and cozy with just our closest loved ones?"

He rolls over quickly, balancing himself on his elbows above me. "I will give you whatever you want; all you have to do is tell me." His beautiful face dips closer to mine. "I want to give you everything. Tell me what you want." He moves his mouth toward mine but pulls away just as I expect to feel him, studying me with my lips pursed and my eyes lightly closed. "You're so beautiful; I love looking at you. I never feel as real in this world as I do when I'm with you. I'm only relevant because of you."

Finally his lips crash into mine and the taste of his mouth ignites my passion. The strength of his impressive lips sends chills down my arms as I move my legs from under him, opening them for him to fall comfortably in between.

Slowly I move my hands up his body, tenderly enjoying him and his deliberate movements, the tilting of his head so that our mouths fit like a puzzle, a dangerously strong hand gently moving my hair, his well-controlled hips grinding into mine as if to some music I cannot hear. Both of us have been affected by the romance of the day and we are longing for a deep consummation of our love.


PLAYLIST:
Bruno Mars "Marry You"
Katy Perry, “Dark Horse”
John Legend, “All of Me”
Michael Buble, "Home"
Iggy Azalea "Fancy"
Ingrid Michaelson "Girls Chase Boys"
Jason DeRulo "Reason to Love"
Like Bryan "Drunk On You"
Pachelbel "Cannon in D Major"
Afrojack "Ten Feet Tall"
Tegan and Sara "Closer"

AUTHOR BIO:
Indie Author of contemporary romance and suspense novels such as Charity Series, Charity's Warrior, Charity’s Secrets, and Charity’s Passion, publishing on Amazon Kindle, Creatspace, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. 

East coast born and raised, I'm married, extremely happily, with 4 kids, 3 of which are now young adults (not sure when that happened).

I’m a COO in my technology-based "day job,” which requires a mix of technical and creative writing for both internal and client-facing materials, but it was not satisfying my artistic spirit. Writing the “Charity” series has been absolutely fulfilling and exciting.

My favorite writing takes place on my phone while lying on the Southernmost Beach in Key West, where I try to go at least twice a year.


MEDIA LINKS:



BLOG TOUR HOSTED BY:

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Love, Always by Yessi Smith with Giveaway & Excerpt

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

Title: Love, Always
Author: Yessi Smith
Genre: New Adult, Contemporary Romance
Release Date: September 14

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3Love, Always-eBook

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

synopsis

**This book is intended for a mature reading audience and isn't suitable for readers under the age of 17.**

In love with a man on the brink of greatness, Dee has her life figured out. The love they share is comparable only to the love they feel when they find out Dee is pregnant. Josh and Dee welcome their future together with eagerness as they plan a wedding, baby, and the upcoming tour for Josh’s band Wasted Circle. Big things are finally happening.

During Wasted Circle’s first big show, tragedy strikes leaving Dee alone. The life her and Josh planned for ends up being nothing but desolate promises. Unable to watch his best friend’s girlfriend drown under her own despair any longer, Adam steps in to help Dee cope with her loss and the upcoming birth of her baby. Adam is patient, kind and unrelenting. He stands by her side, never faltering despite his growing desire to be more than Dee’s supportive shoulder and the idea that he is betraying Josh. He refuses to give up on Dee and remains loyally by her side even when she admits herself into a psychiatric ward and he is left to father Josh and Dee’s baby.


But even sweet and sturdy Adam has his limits.

  51289-add-to-goodreads-button

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3


Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

Excerpt

Shit.

I reach my trembling fingers down and feel the sticky wax between my legs. I rub the strip back over the wax, hoping it’ll stick this time, to no avail.

This isn’t happening. Please, this can’t possibly be happening.

I reach for the package the wax came in and with it in my hand. I sit on the toilet lid, reading to see if there’s any emergency instructions. Nope. Nada.

Maybe warm water. I go to stand up to run a warm bath, but am barely able to inch upward.

I’m stuck to the toilet lid! With my hands on my face, I start to laugh until tears pour out of my eyes. I’ve glued myself to the damn toilet!

“Hayley!” I yell through my hands and tremble in laughter when she peeks in.

“What is it, babe?” She rushes to my side with worry seeping through her pores, which causes me to laugh harder. She rubs her hand over my back trying to console me until I can contain myself.

“I’m not crying.” I wipe the tears from my face and she arches her eyebrows at me. “Okay, I am crying, but I’m fine. Or I will be. I just need your help.”

I explain my dilemma to her, and within seconds she is lying by my side on the floor in hysterics. At least I keep my life amusing.

“Okay,” she breathes. “Okay. Maybe the package.” She picks it up, but I tell her I’ve already read through it. “Did you follow the instructions?”

“I let it cool down a bit too much I think,” I admit. “Maybe if I run a warm bath it’ll come off.”

“So we just need to get you off the toilet.”

I nod. “First run the bath.”

“We need a first aid kit. Just in case.”

“Right.”

A first aid kit. For my inner butt. I should probably blog about this.

Hayley leaves me as she searches for my stash of antiseptic and band aids. Maybe she’ll find my pride along with it.

She returns quickly with a handful of crap and a big grin on her face. “You’re tweeting about this, aren’t you?”

I shrug. “No such thing as TMI on social media.”

Hayley puts her hand under my arm and we nod at each other. “Count of three,” she whispers. “One, two, three.”

With her help, I stand up hard, taking the toilet lid with me. Well at least I’m no longer stuck to the whole toilet.

Hayley looks at me, and I’m afraid I’m going to burst into real tears. I have a toilet lid stuck to my ass.

“Well, there’s a fashion statement.” Hayley grins, and I gently sit back down with my new appendage.

 “Think Adam will notice?” I smile back.

“He’ll probably think you’ve been swiping fast food when he’s not looking.”

“What am I gonna do, Hayley?” I half-laugh, half-cry into my hands.

“I have an idea.”

I follow her into my bedroom and hold onto the bed frame as instructed while I wait for her to pull the lid off.

“Count of three?” she asks and I shake my head.

“Surprise me.” I close my eyes and grip my bed tightly.

Surprise me she does when she yanks the lid clean off, breaking it into two pieces, and lands on her butt. I’m too tired to yell from the pain, but manage a few giggles when I see my friend holding the broken lid triumphantly over her head like some warped version of the Incredible Hulk.

I reach between my legs again and whimper when I feel the glue still there.

“That’s what the warm water’s for,” she reminds me.

“But what if I get stuck to the bottom of the tub?”

“Don’t let your ass touch the bottom, stupid.”

“I’m not the one holding two broken pieces of a dirty toilet, asshole.”

Hayley drops the lid with a hard thud and glares at me. “Who glued themselves to that same toilet, dipshit?”

“You girls okay?” Max calls through the door.

“Yes,” we sing in unison and start to laugh once again.

“Warm bath.” I nod, hoping I remember not to let my ass touch the bottom.

“You want a wash cloth?” she asks, but then laughs, probably picturing it stuck to me as well.

I step into the tub on weak knees and exhale slowly as I get ready to not quite sit in the tub.

“Oil!” Hayley exclaims, pulling me out of my tub. She reaches for the box and dumps the rest of the contents on my bathroom countertop, squealing when the small tube of oil falls out.

“I’m an idiot.”

“World class jackass,” she agrees.

“Out.” I push her towards the door but she plops herself on the floor adamant to see the grand finale of this performance.

I glare at her without much vehemence. I’m far too excited to see if the oil will work. I rub my fingers together with the oil and run them over the glue, which miraculously begins to dissolve.

I shriek in delight, pouring more oil all over my hand and enthusiastically rid myself of the wax while Hayley snorts behind me.

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3    
    Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3 the cursed Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

Author Bio   

Yessi Smith I'm a Hispanic living in South Florida with my redneck husband from Texas and our "half breed" son, who is actually the reason I started writing again after years of celibacy. My son loves stories, but not the kind you can read in an existing book. No, he'd rather make up a story, complete with our own illustrations. So, thank you, Son, for igniting a flame I had let go out. I also live with two dogs: a neurotic Border Collie we call Nitro and a midget Rottweiler named Nisa. I have always found my sanctuary at the beach and in music and writing. I wish I could write rhymes so I could become a famous rapper, but rhyming is completely lost on me. My son surpassed me in the rhyming game by the time he was four. This is something I am very proud of. I have a Bachelor's degree in Business Management and a Master's in Human Resource Management. I have held several jobs, from picking up dog poop to upper management positions. And now I am hoping to leave the business world behind so I can live full time in a world that does not exist until I place my fingers on a keyboard and bring them to fruition. I published my first book Life's A Cappella last year.

Facebook Twitter Goodreads Amazon

 

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

a cappella series

  10013897_10152402106038128_174728595078996918_n

Amazon US Amazon UK B&N Kobo

  1978748_10152341942230692_285484052_n  

Amazon US Amazon UK B&N Kobo

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3


Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3  

Giveaway

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3

HOSTED BY:

  1622240_428437750619987_1711179238_n

Black_scroll_with_transparent_background 3